BHG Stylemaker + My Arc Through The Years

All this talk about books and writing has me looking inward. Last week, I was honored to attend the Better Homes and Gardens annual Stylemaker event. This was my ninth time attending this event, and I can’t help but look back through the years and see my arc as a creator, woman, and human. I say human because there are so many (human) emotions that come into play when you attend something like this.

It’s taken me many years to feel like the main character of my own life and embrace this invitation. Take the first year, for example. I felt like the biggest imposter. You know that saying, “Fake it until you make it?” That was me all the way.

The years that followed felt lonely. I talked to everyone (I’m good at that) but floated in and out of groups. Each time I rode the bus or train home, I wondered what was wrong with me. My social anxiety would always get the best of me. And there were a few times I actually cried. I know it seems silly, but it felt like old wounds had reopened for a person who never really felt like they belonged. Yup, I was that girl picked last for everything.

At the event last week, one of my fellow uber-talented bloggers said to a group of us as we arrived at the cocktail party. “I was just about to leave. The minutes felt like hours, and I’m so tired of being alone.” Man, did that feel zingy? I understood what she meant. And in that moment, I realized these functions bring out our insecurities, no matter how big (or small) of an influencer we are. I told her that she was welcome in our group anytime. What I wanted to say was, “No one will be left out on my watch.” But that sounded a little dramatic, ha!

Photography by Sean Sime.

Okay, so onto the event. It was a blast, and I’m always in awe that I get to go. It was at the Merdeith building, between Tribeca and The Financial District. The sessions were so informative and fun. I could network and say hi to friends I only see once a year. I no longer look at this event as scary but as a human experience. I always learn something new about myself by pushing beyond my fears. And the best part was seeing Nate and Jeremiah and listening to their witty banter back and forth.

So, the story’s moral is that we are human, and we all want to belong. No one, no matter who you are, is immune to that crucial emotion. And good things are waiting on the other side of fear.

Happy day, friend! I hope you enjoyed my alternate looks through the years;).