Letting Go Of Perfect & Choosing To Love

Happy Monday Friends!
With Valentine’s Day less than a few weeks away, I have been thinking a lot about LOVE.
How I choose LOVE my children, my husband, our home and last but not least…..
myself.

Through the years I have come to these conclusions…
MY husband doesn’t have to be perfect to be appreciated & adored.
Our boys don’t have to be perfect to be loved unconditionally & valued.
Our home doesn’t have to be perfect to be enjoyed
&
I don’t have to be perfect to be
beautiful.
  A few years back I found myself in
this never ending cycle
of seeking perfection.
 I sought to be the perfect mom, the perfect wife and I sought to keep the perfect home.
I thought if I was perfect then a.
I would be HAPPY and b. I would feel successful, both untrue.

It became exhausting & realized I wasn’t as happy as I thought I was.
Plus, I was driving my husband a little crazy:).
I have to say, he is much happier as odd as it sounds, to be tripping over toys.

I lost myself in the quest for perfection. The funny this is, I was NOT perfect, not by a long shot, but really it was about the control.
Can anyone relate?

One day, I realized something profound.
I saw myself in my son.
He was trying to be perfect too.
He was afraid to take risks because he was afraid to fail or make mistakes.
He would get upset with himself if he did something that wasn’t “perfect” the first time.

That was when it all changed;I knew I needed to refocus this energy into something healthy & positive.
 I began running again, creating and making time for me.
The ironic thing was that I was afraid too.
I was afraid that if I focused on myself that I would be taking (time) away from them,
my boys
&
 hence I wouldn’t be the “perfect” mother.

This was the thing, when I chose to make time for me; I became happier, more fulfilled!
 And that made everything better, not just for me but for the entire familyJ. 

So these days on any given day in my home you may find floors littered with toys and match box cars, dishes in the sink that may not get done until after dinner, piles of laundry that sometimes get put away that night & some that do NOTJ.

In that same house you will find happiness, because instead of trying to be perfect, we have choosen let it go.
And in the process have also choosen to be in the moment more
&
to seek those
“perfect moments” instead.
 
I hope you have a wonderful week,
 

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21 Comments

  2. Life can really be a roller coaster when you are aiming at perfection. I would be spread so thin that I thought I was losing my mind. I am much more relaxed since I let go of the need for perfection and control and my family is happier, too! Love yourself for who you are! 🙂

    XO,
    Jane

  4. Thank you for your wonderful words. You don’t know how close to home they hit. Exhaustion can easily set in if you do not go to bed until everything is done and perfect. Soon you start resenting life and those around. Life easily spins out of control.

  5. This is a wonderful post Linda, very helpful to your blog sisters who are still trying to be perfect.
    It took me an awful long time to figure it out, and like you, I found life so much better when I did:)

  6. so wise and so eloquently written! resonates with so much truth for me. in our sons’ bathroom is a quote painted on the wall that says YOU WERE CREATED PERFECTLY TO BE LOVED. those simple three words at the end make all the difference in the world.

    🙂
    michele

  8. I can SOOO relate! Perfection has always been a struggle for me to let go and give to God. It takes time, and sometimes a wise word of counsel (thanks!) to remember that I don’t have it all under control!

  9. You are right.. we have to let the desire for perfection GO. I think women tend to be this way ~ by nature, making this a challenge!

    enjoy your day:)

  10. Hi Jen! You are lucky to have figured this out at a younger than me age! Took me 57 years and I just got it!!lol

    Yes everyone is much happier when the grip of perfection loosens..just watch out because it keeps trying to return!!lol

    Have a fun week!
    Sincerely Jeannette

  11. Good for you, sharing this wisdom with your sisters online. Life is to be lived, not perfected. I bet you sleep better, too!

    I will use some of your chalkboard quotes on the new chalkboards I’m creating as Valentine gifts for friends. Thanks for the uplifting and honest post.

  12. Wonderful post, Jen.
    I think most women can relate.
    We think we “have to be” perfect to be a good wife or mother. And like you I have learned over time it is impossible and rediculous. There is no such thing as perfection, no matter how hard we try.
    I’ve realized I’d rather be happy, than perfect.
    And when your happy it helps make your family happy.

    This post really spoke to me because it also touches on a point that I have been discussing with my hubby lately.
    Over the past ten years I have played and decorated for “show” thinking having it look a certain way would make me happy. It hasn’t worked. All I have is a bunch of uncomfortable rooms, so no more.
    Hubby and I went looking at furniture yesterday. On our list, a nice Big comfy bed that is anything but prim but guess what, we may actually get a good night sleep. A new couch for the LR so we can get back to lounging and napping in front of the fireplace, like we use to. A big kinda ugly but very comfortable sectional for the FR so we can all relax together in front of the TV.
    Of course I still want my decor to be pretty, but more than that I want it to be Comfortable! Not only for me but for him.
    And instead of holding on to what I once wanted and getting a “whatever you want” response from my husband. We are looking, planning and Both getting excited about decorating. I don’t think that has ever happened.
    So yes, letting go of trying to Control is a good thing.
    At least that is what I have been discovering lately.
    Sorry to get a bit off topic and babbling on a bit.
    I just related to this post.
    Have a great week.
    Hugs
    Tam

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